Journey Out

It shocks me how society treats special needs children at times. Before my son transitioned over to SDC. My son was in a regular child development class, he would participate in the class fieldtrips and graduation cermonies and etc. but once we held that first I.E.P meeting and they soon diagnosed him with PDD (Pervasive Development Disorder ) he was branded to them as one of those kids. He could not participate in any other activities anymore let alone graduate with his regular classroom. I can remember walking him to his new classroom and he saw his old teacher and classmates and started to yell. It was a moment that is a tear jerker. I watch both of my children not participate in any activities and not only them but the other kids too.

These children who are special deserve to explore their surroundings. They deserve an opportunity to see things and feel very much apart of the world as any other regular child would do. These children try ten times harder than the regular child to learn,read, and etc. They deserve to journey out with the proper supervision and respect and love.

Life Lessons

I sit and watch both of my sons as I get them ready for school to hop on that bus and head off to school. I always tell them that I love them and pray that God Watches them. My oldest grabed my hand and formed a sentence and said Mom dont worry, I'm fine. The way he said that was if he could read into my soul. I have learned the true meaning of patience. They have taught me the meaning of humbleness and what it means to love and trust. I can say that my children are my teachers, we as parents often feel being the parent makes us more the experience ones but they our children also have life lessons to teach us.

Nothing is Impossible

Recently I have been fighting for OT (Occupational Therapy) for my son. I have asked and requested so many services for him that it started off as one day then turned into weeks, and weeks into months and finally after four years April 18,2008 my son was approved for OT. I have fought so hard and prayed so much and finally God opened a door and answered. Nothing is impossible, anything is possible if only you believe and today I look at my son and watch him learn and do new things, It feels like the first time I held him in my arms. This is to all the those who go thru this struggle of fighting for the needs and interest of your child. Please believe God answers and all those tears you have shed he kept them close to his heart and knew when it was the time to give you what your heart desired. This was the best birthday gift I have ever had was the gift to benefit my son and his needs.

The Little Things

So much is going on in the world around us all, that I just have to take a moment and be thankful. Thankful that I am here when so many didnt make it, thankful that each day I awake in the morning I can watch my children grow up. Thankful for the sister I have even when she gets on my last nerve, thankful for my best friend who is far away. Thankful that another day has come and the flowers still bloom at the peak of the sun. Thankful for the rain that comes perhaps God had to do some spring cleaning of his own. Iam thankful for the home I have even if it isnt the one I desire. Thankful for the tears I've shed I know there will be a better tomorrow. Thankful that I can run and dance, I am blessed to have that activity.Thankful I can sing aloud because no one can ever silence me. Thankful that I have someone who makes me feel complete, thankful that our love is what made us a real family. The little things that mean so much, the little we take for granted are the ones that matter most.

My Helper, My Middle Child

Living with an autistic child has it's moments, days and nights. One thing that Iam very grateful for is my son, my middle child J.J . J.J is the middle child in the family and full of energy. It amazes me how he understand his brothers so well. He even knows when it's rough for me, he will help out with his brothers by playing with them and talking to them and doing activites with them. I really feel that he dosent see the autism at all, I believe he just understands that his brothers are different in many ways. Example one day I was cooking dinner and the t.v was on but it was loud, so J.J turns and says " mom it's hurting him turn it down right now" my jaw droped automatically and I immediately turned down the television and J.J. ask his brother is it better now ? his brother shakes his head saying yes.

I do at times feel as if I dont pay my middle child enough attention because my mind and day is generally focused on his brothers and securing the correct service and making sure they are okay and not being mistreated and denied the proper help they need. I do let him know that everyday I appreciate all that he does for his brother . I truly believe this will shape his understanding and his personality as a man one day. My middle child J.J is my helper and my child and the greatest. He brighten's up his brothers face each and every day, I know that one day when Iam not here, it will him that cares for his brothers always, because that is love.

Stress Moments

Dealing with a special needs child is rough but what do you do to de-stress the atmosphere down. What are different ways you can reach your child and help them feel comfortable. What can I do as a parent to make it better. Well as a mother of an autistic child, I find a way of huging them and rubbing them to tell them it's okay we are having a moment this one will pass. Iam not gonna beat around the bush their have been moments where I just had to cry but I have learned crying cleanses the soul and releases so much stress at times. I dance in the living with my child play a favorite song, my oldest loves Spider man's Hero or we just make our own music and I will sit with him and sing to him or hum. By the time Iam done I notice that he is no longer upset or screaming or stimming at all. The mood has died down and we are quiet and at peace.

It is so hard .... so hard going through this and at times you feel all alone like no one on the earth understands what as a parent, mother or father or going thru. Today I had to just pray, just sit and talk to God. I was upset about some programs for my son that were denied. A program that I felt he really needed it and it was denied. I really had to de-stress the moment out, so I found a theme song, started talking to God and the stress was lifted. There are moments when you have to just place it in God's hand and let those tantrums and emotions slowly go away. I hope that helps you, it helps me.

Iam Sucker For the Puppy Eyes

When giving my children time to do their homework., it seems that they rather play for another hour than get down to business. When I notice they are going to slack off I put my foot down by saying no playtime learning time . All of a sudden my middle child bats those big baby browns and says peas mommy not please but peas and like a sucker I fall right into trap and say okay ten more minutes . Ten more minutes turns into one hour. I have learned that these kids aren’t amateurs at this they have credentials. I notice my little daughter starts to bats those eyes and says mama and she’s right out of the baby seat. I must have a sign on my forehead that says Sucker . What I have choose to do is talk to them and explain that homework is important when we are done then we can play until we pass out . So the next time they bat those baby browns, I know exactly what to do, and that is put on a pair of shades.

STEPIN STONES

Every time you attempt to speak transforms into a movement toward coming out of your world.

Together we can throw the stones into the abyss. Each time you try to express yourself and receive what you can not comprehend becomes a step up the ladder to effort and success. Steping up to change the outcome, climbing instead of falling. Together we walk, side by side through hallways, tunnels rising above the quick sand, together we fight. Together we throw stone and stone into the abyss of Autism. We are stepin stone, reaching what some call impossible, despite the inevitable, we step and we climb together, we take it one step at a time til we reach that door. Together in love